Who did Billy Mays play for?
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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