You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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