these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
