its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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