so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I have post one night stand depression
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
