pop tarts are not kleenex
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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