I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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