dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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