Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Randomize
