Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize