Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
