no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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