nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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