He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
