i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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