I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
