babies were throwing up all over the place
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
