Will you blow on my dice?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
FUCK WHALES
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