Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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