Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
