tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize