Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
