i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize