It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
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