Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
