coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
