I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
barbara walters just said penis...
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
