was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
