Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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