the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We don't watch enough power rangers
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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