mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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