How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
