Duck Duck Cougar?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
