So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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