im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
