your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
