alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
