i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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