I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
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We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
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Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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