Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
