Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
