To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
