Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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