i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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