I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
