Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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