I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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