i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
