Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize