this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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