Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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