Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
