We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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