I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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