I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
