Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize