My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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