Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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