What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't deserve a penis
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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