Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize