It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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