Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
