god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
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