I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
